To be or not to be!!!!

"To be or not to be" is the question quoted by Shakespeare ..... Now this is the exact same question I ask myself everyday.
I have a 3 years old daughter and now a 3 month old son. Since the day my son is born my life has taken a new dimension. I don't feel anything, no pain, no fear, no tears. It is like becoming a queen of zombies in the Zombieland. Anyway, sometimes it feels great to be a mother of 2 and sometimes it is just too much, like GOD why did i do it?
Some days back i had a bad day to the bone. My first minion got up early in the morning when my second tiny minion had just slept. So i had to take care of her. Thus began my day with the usual routine of making my 3 yr old brush her teeth, take her bath, drink her milk and finalllllllllly go to school. When i write this down it seems "what's the big deal??" so i had to do some things for my daughter. But what people don't get is how much of my blood vaporizes by the time i get all those tasks done. Phewwwww.. And the moment i pack my daughter into her school van and release a tiny breath my son is awake in all his glory and demanding my attention at the top of his voice. So i go to take care of him, feed him, change his nappy pad, rock him and finallllllllly put him to sleep. And as i lay him down he wakes up screaming again. So i perform all the above steps again and again and again till the time has come to get my daughter back from school....
You can imagine very well how my whole day went by. All of this brings me back to my question "to be or not to be???(a mom)"
I got my answer a few days back (actually the answer toggles between "yes" and "no" constantly..)
My daughter sometimes says she loves me and calls me her "goduli mamma". And my son just gurgles and smiles and tries to laugh when he looks up into my face.
At that moment it is crystal clear why i became a mom in the first place. As they say every dark cloud has a silver lining, I live for these small significant moments with my kids and decide the answer is always "to be"........